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First of all let me tell you that Sex was God’s Idea. And Sex is Great! God designed it to be Great! To be pleasurable, fun, meaningful and fruitful. He designed it that it might produce oneness between a man and a woman. The bible tells us that “the two shall become one” and sex does that amazingly well. Sex is great! 

However, we have substituted the truth for a lie[1] and now in this day and age we worship sex. It has become the God of this age. Everywhere you look the god of sex, sexuality and sensuality is worshipped. We worship the beautiful people and desire what we should not have. We obsess over how we look in order that we will be more desirable to others and not our spouse. We promote sin in our schools thinly disguised as Sex Education where we teach our children how worship the god of this age.

Sex has been made a god. People worship it rather than the God who created it. We abuse it and use it for personal and selfish reasons rather than to create oneness as God intended. We have taken something amazing, something beautiful and exchanged it for a dry shrivelled up old rag!

Mat 5:27-30 ESV  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  ⁽²⁸⁾  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  ⁽²⁹⁾  If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.  ⁽³⁰⁾  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

The Pharisees and Scribes were constantly looking to reduce the commandments of the Law to a simply and single act. Do No Commit Adultery in this case. Limiting it to the physical act, but here again Jesus is emphasising the motive of the heart as being the issue. Later on in Matthew he speaks even more clearly and directly on it.

Mat 15:19-20 ESV For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.  ⁽²⁰⁾  These are what defile a person. “

The Scribes & Pharisees show an amazing lack of understanding and learning in that the 10^th Commandment, Do not Covet – specifically addresses the issue of lusting after your neighbours wife. Clearly this needs to be taken in conjunction with Do Not Commit Adultery! This was either not understood by the Pharisees or conveniently overlooked for the sake of comfort!

Jesus is saying that for us to be RADICAL we are not looking to be those that simply CONFORM to a set of prescribed rules and regulations, but we are to be those who understand the motives that result in these prohibitions and that we radically deal with them. We seek the spirit of the law, not the letter!

This is an extract from my recent sermon on LUST where I tackle issues such as Pornography, Masturbation, Sexual Immorality, Fornication, Adultery from this passage in Matthew. You can LISTEN for FREE to this here, or DOWNLOAD for FREE here

Is Masturbation a Sin

FREE MP3: To listen to a talk on this issue then press here, or download here.

Clearly masturbation is not directly referenced in the bible. There is no “Thou Shalt Not …” for this. Equally the scripture “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might[1]” is not a scripture to support it either.

When this action takes place it is rarely, and I would use the word never, that lustful thoughts and imagination (commonly porn too) are not present too. That being the case, Jesus words in the Sermon on the Mount clearly and directly apply – If you look lustfully, either with you natural eyes or your minds eye, then you are committing adultery with her in your heart. If you tell me that you don’t have lustful thoughts etc and simply think about cars or something then one might argue that you have bigger problems.

Let us remember that sex was created by God and it was good. He created it for us to enjoy, to allow us to reproduce and to produce ONENESS. In Genesis it says .

Genesis 2:24 ESV  Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Let me be clear ONENESS is not ONE (being on ones own), but TWO becoming ONE. All sexual experiences that produce ONENESS within the context of marriage between one man and one woman are legitimate. Thus any sexual experience outside that context is not legitimate because it is outside of the context within which God designed and planned it to occur.

So is masturbation a sin? It is if you consider sin to be doing things that God has said not to (LUST), or doing them outside the context or environment that God intended and communicated to us (Self Gratification, not producing oneness between a husband and a wife) then yes, it should be considered a sin.

FREE MP3: To listen to a talk on this issue then press here, or download here. 

I was baptised as a baby is a common objection when being presented with Believers Baptism. What does the bible say? That is the only question we need to consider. If infant baptism is a bible principle then we should practice it. If it is not then we should consider what the bible does say and follow it.  

There is some argument that baptism of infants is akin to the babies in Israel being circumcised at 8 days old (More). Now there are some parallels here, I agree. Circumcision was a public declaration of belonging to the covenant community of God. Back then you belonged to the covenant community of God by virtue of your birth (your parents) and thus a public declaration was appropriate. However, today we belong to the covenant community of God not by virtue of our parents will, but by virtue of our confession of faith in Jesus, in his death and resurrection, by virtue of acceptance of the grace of God! Thus, baptism must be as a believer.

Now a discussion for another day is about sprinkling vs. immersion. If someone was to come to me and say as a believer I was “sprinkled” rather than immersed, I could accept that as a believer’s baptism although I would want to do a bible study with them based on the New Testament to see if the believer then felt that they would like to respond in the same way as the early church set as the standard example.

However, if someone was to say they were sprinkled as a baby then clearly this is not a believer’s baptism but an act of the will of their parents and not by virtue of them putting their faith in God. I would have to say they have not been baptised and should, as the New Testament shoes us, make a public declaration in that way. There may be, as for the original believers we have read about, some humiliation or even difficulty with family members but we are commanded to repent and be baptised, in that order and I believe that we need to be faithful and live a life worthy of Jesus name, suffering a little humiliation or family unrest for our saviour.

Sometimes the argument is that there is no premise for “re-Baptism” in the bible, and I would agree. There is no biblical president for a rebaptism of a believer. If you were baptised as a youngster and then came to me saying “I did not really fully understand, can I go again” I would say “no”. You were a Christian, you were saved, then you were baptised then that is sufficient “repent and be baptised”. If however you were baptised as an unbeliever because of pressure from parents etc then I would say you were not baptised as a believer and so you should now be. In the same way if you were baptised as a baby, you were not baptised as a believer and so you should now be. It is not “re-baptism” as you were not previously baptised as a believer which is the only New Testament basis for baptism.

If want to listen or download a talk where I discuss this more fully just click here to listen now, or hear to download it as an MP3

I will shortly be writing a paper which will discuss this, and other issues relating to baptism more fully, so check back oon.

We live in a world where divorce is a fact of most people’s lives. Whilst the government would have us believe that the divorce statistics are dropping year on year, the truth of the matter is that less and less people are being married and so do not need a divorce thus reducing the rate of divorce.

As a christian what can we do to ensure that we can avoid being one of these national divorce statistics? Well I think the bible gives us loads of advice on how to have a healthy marriage, but the steps you can take to build a health Christian marriage starts long before the wedding day. It starts, possibly, even before you start dating.

Your choice of partner is essential. Not in terms of compatibility as the secular world would have you believe, but in terms of where they are in their relationship with God. The bible, I believe, clearly tells us that we should not marry, or even date a non-Christian!

This is, as you would imagine a very big topic which I can not go into in detail here but you can read a paper I have written on this (download for free here) or if you would prefer you can LISTEN FOR FREE to a talk I did on this subject or DOWNLOAD FOR FREE and listen on your iPod.

Listen or Download a Talk for Free!

Is the question I am asked the most … by far !

Given the way sex is portrayed in our society, the way it is used to sell everything from Ice Cream to Cars, the way we “educate” our school kids no wonder everyone has so many questions.

We have eroded marriage, family, parenting and the most intimate of actions between two people – The act of lovemaking. Our young people are are confused, society suffers and christians are often caught in the confusion. They therefore ask the question is sex outside of marriage wrong? What does the bible actually say? How should I conduct myself as a true follower of Jesus.

In response to this I have written this paper which I hope of find helpful. You can download the full document for free right here

What a question – “Is smoking a Sin?”

This is something that has long been debated and, in my opinion, the answer has changed as we have discovered more and more information on the effect of smoking on our health and well being.

I have written a paper that I have cleverly entitled “Is Smoking a Sin” where I examine the whole issue of Smoking and focus on some key areas:

• Addiction
• Rebellion & Deceit
• Health
• Free Choice & Pleasure

The outcome for me was interesting, not because I smoke (I don’t), but because what I discovered affects so much more than smoking. Whilst looking at the area of addiction I was convicted as to my own addiction to caffeine. Whilst looking at the issues of health and looking after the body God has given me I wondered if I do all I could to look after it. So don’t think “I don’t smoke so this does not apply to me”. Take a look!

You can download the full document for free right here

Listen for FREE to a talk I gave that includes this topic

Initial Assumptions
First of all let’s look at some basic assumptions. I am assuming that the person asking the question is a Christian. That is they are a true follower of Jesus, that their desire is to live the life that Jesus called us to live, that they believe that the entire bible is the inspired word of God, authored by men, inspired by the Holy Spirit and is valuable for teaching, reproof, correction and training in righteousness.

Dating a non-Christian in contrary to the whole of scripture
Personally I believe that the bible, both old and New Testament show unequivocally that for a Christian to date a non-Christian, is contrary to scripture. That is for a Christ follower (christian) to date a non-christian (someone who is not a Christ follower) goes against the teaching of the bible. I will therefore layout why I believe this to be the case and show how scripture leads me to this conclusion

What does the bible say?
We see throughout the Old Testament the Lord commanding Israel not to “intermarry” with the nations around them. They are repeatedly told not to take wives for their sons from outside the children of Israel. Exodus 34:1-17 gives examples of this and Exodus to Chronicles and beyond is littered with similar examples.

Exodus 34:10-17 (New International Version)
Then the LORD said: “I am making a covenant with you. Before all your people I will do wonders never before done in any nation in all the world. The people you live among will see how awesome is the work that I, the LORD, will do for you. Obey what I command you today. I will drive out before you the Amorites, Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land where you are going, or they will be a snare among you. Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and cut down their Asherah poles. Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. “Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land; for when they prostitute themselves to their gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will eat their sacrifices. And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same. “Do not make cast idols.

This was an Old Testament dating scenario and I believe the same is true today. Now one might argue that “things were different back then. They had arranged marriages” well of course this is true, but regardless of the parents selecting a spouse or, as is the case in our culture, you selecting your own spouse the principle hold up equally well. The principle being outlined here is one of joining together unequally. We read here and throughout the old testament that we should not “intermarry” that is marry a non-Christian. And, if we believe that the purpose of dating is to prepare for marriage we cannot date a non-Christian either. This does of course raise another topic for discussion, that of “Why Date? Is it to prepare for marriage or for fun and experience gathering” and I will discuss this in another document at a later date. For now I think that “ultimately” dating will lead to marriage … hopefully at some point.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (English Standard Version)

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord,and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me,says the Lord Almighty.” This passage talks again about not being married to unbelievers, they have nothing in common. What union is there between Christ and the devil? Take that into to the context of Sex the bible says that when we have sex that “the two become one flesh”

This being the case what are we doing uniting our body, the temple of the holy spirit

with that of an unbeliever. What union is that?

1 Corinthians 6:15-17 (New International Version)
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

Whilst I am not in any way likening a non-Christian to a prostitute I am saying that the same principle applies. We could read this as “Do you not know that he who unites himself with [an unbeliever] is one with her in body? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with [an unbeliever]?”

This I feel is pretty conclusive, but, just in case you were thinking that this is all about marriage, and you are only talking about dating … let’s look at the process of dating. Even if everything is really platonic, and above board part of you is still involved with this other individual. Part of you is still given to them … your heart. The bible addresses this for us in Proverbs 4:23

Proverbs 4:23 (New International Version)
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

We are told as Christians that “above ALL else” we should guard our heart. That we should be careful to keep it whole and not break it. We need to only share it with those who will have the same care and honour for their own heart – Another Christian. How can we share something so precious as our heart with someone who will not have the same regard for it, or for the affairs of our heart – Namely Jesus !

I know what you are thinking, If I go out with them I will be able to introduce them to the church, to God, to Jesus, they will get saved and we will all live happily ever after! My answer is …. NOT!

1 Corinthians 15:33 (New International Version)
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
Deuteronomy 11:16 (English Standard Version)
Take care lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them;

Why do you think it says “So not be mislead” or “take care”? Because we are easily and often mislead! Don’t think you are the stronger part here. You are not. It is easier for them to draw you away, that for you to draw them up.

This brings us full circle back to Exodus 34:16 “do not choose wives from outside of Israel for your sons as then they worship their gods they will draw your sons away and they will do the same” [My paraphrase]

People in the world have gods of worldliness, of selfishness, or greed and lust. You will be drawn away no matter how smart you think you are.

Let’s look at one final example: Solomon. He was the wisest man on the face of the earth, and I am sure that none of us would venture to say we are smarter than he was. Yet this very thing, dating and marrying none Christians was the thing that “mislead” him.

1 Kings 11:1-3
King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.”

1 Kings 4:29
“God Gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore”

Solomon, even with all his wisdom was led astray by his unbelieving wives. Don’t be misled, dating a non-Christian is folly, a mistake of gigantic
proportions.Conclusion

Nehemiah 13:23-27 (English Standard Version)
In those days also I saw the Jews who had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab. And half of their children spoke the language of Ashdod, and they could not speak the language of Judah, but only the language of each people. And I confronted them and cursed them and beat some of them and pulled out their hair. And I made them take oath in the name of God, saying, “You shall not give your daughters to their sons, or take their daughters for your sons or for yourselves. Did not Solomon king of Israel sin on account of such women? Among the many nations there was no king like him, and he was beloved by his God, andGod made him king over all Israel. Nevertheless, foreign women made even him to sin. Shall we then listen to you and do all this great evil and act treacherously against our God by marrying foreign women?”

I believe that the bible is clear. Marrying and therefore dating non-Christians is not Gods best for us. Don’t do it!
If you want to download this as a document to use with your group please click here